Apple Breaking Bad Now Features the FBiPhone

Apple’s refusal to make a larger phone has reached the point of insanity and is almost quite funny if you are not an investor. The rumors were right and Apple intends to launch different colors of phones not different sizes? This is a sure sign that the upper management of Apple has to go and go quickly. The new iPhone 5c is cheaper than the “old” iPhone and is replacing the old iPhone which will no longer be made. So “c” for cheap? This is the company that produced some of the best ads ever? Instead a new iPhone 5s which is essentially the same as the iPhone 5 will also replace it. The iPhone 5, a despised product won’t be missed, and unlike its predecessors will not be reduced in price and kept for sale. The iPhone 5s has fingerprint technology in it. Really? This is what consumers have been demanding and anticipating? iMac like colors and J. Edgar Hoover in cell?

First everyone with large hands, anyone who is near sighted or has uncorrected astigmatism, or just likes a large phone, has been waiting for Apple to catch up to the S class phone and the Galaxy Note for three years now.

Second a full 75% of folks stick their phones in a case, that means they can buy a case any color they want. No need for a colored phone because you will never see the color of the actual phone. So WTF? Eye candy aimed at teenagers who can’t afford the phones anyway? And if the want Eye Candy on their phone, guess what? There is a company that makes cases called Eye Candy.

Third I have never heard a person say I really need a different color of phone but I know plenty of people who are sick of the small iPhone and want one that is S class device or Note class all in one in that size and configuration.

Fourth a large phone should be cheaper. In theory the cost of designing all that stuff to fit into a small space costs more than putting it into a big space.

So the reason Apple has not made a large phone? The rule of thumb. When Samsung launched the S class phones Apple was expected to follow shortly with a comparable product. This was a no brainer. The S class put Samsung on the map. It buried Blackberry, Windows, and Nokia. Apple responded by announcing the rule of thumb in an advertisement. The refusal to make a larger phone was based solely on the idea that the thumb must reach across the phone. Thus an advertisement which in years past had given reasons to buy a product now gave reasons why not to buy a competitors product. What is wrong with that picture? Because the phone had to be of a size so that a certain sized person could use it one handed (while driving with the other?) a larger phone was unusable and unwanted because this particular guy could not roam the entire screen with his thumb. Had to be the worst advertisement in Apple’s history. That was ridiculous enough but Tim Cook then doubled down on the rule of thumb in a conference call during an earnings report. He said Apple would not be making a larger phone to compete with not just the S class and by now nearly every other phone maker out there but Blackberry. There would be no product to compete with the Note either because of the rule of thumb! Hard to believe. Someone should have showed Tim Cook pictures of people’s hands. Believe it or not hands come in different sizes.

So now we can different color phones. This mimics the “Colors Everywhere” iMac that Jobs so successfully launched with the Rolling Stone song. But a colorful computer was distinct from the beige desert of bland boxes of Dell, Intel and Microsoft products that polluted the interiors of offices everywhere. Plus the color of the iMacs stood out anywhere and everywhere they were used. No one put a case on an iMac. And they were very large. Lots of purple, tangerine, and grape. For reasons stated above the color of the phone is inconsequential. There is a huge demand for a larger phone. The S class and Galaxy Note are taking sales away from Apple every quarter. Since Apple’s great visionary passed away EPS has now declined every quarter year over year. Had Apple simply made a larger phone that customers want, an all in one like the note which would also count towards iPhone sales, year over year EPS would have likely continued to increase. The only reason Apple is not making a larger phone is that Tim Cook is in charge of Apple. His decision to keep the iPhone at an odd size is his and his alone. At some point he will pay the price as Apple shareholders have now.

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